


phantasmagoria

by TheGlovedArtist



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Dream Sequence, Gen, Implied Mommy Issues, Minor Nightmare Themes, Rapid Scene Changes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29138391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGlovedArtist/pseuds/TheGlovedArtist
Summary: Satisfied with his decision, he walks towards the cash register to find his mother behind the counter. “That bird died,” she says while scanning the item. “I told you it wasn’t worth saving.”Something lodges itself in his throat. “He,” Motoya corrects, speaking around the pain. “Tora-sama isn’t an ‘it’.”She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “How will you be paying?”Reaching for his wallet, Motoya finds his jeans pocketless. “Uh…I don’t have anything.”Her smile grows in the same likelihood weeds spread. “You have a soul, don’t you?”Humanity cannot escape the clutches of their own mind; Komori Motoya is no exception.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	phantasmagoria

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try deviating from my usual writing style resulting in this :D I hope you enjoy it!

_Ah_ , Motoya thinks to himself as he watches the sea shift and churns as the sky above him. _That's not normal._

Nothing is normal. Nothing makes sense. The ocean breathes foam from beyond his touch and casts envious spells of weather and dust. Sunlight pools around his ankles like molten honey and he is acutely aware that he is being watched. There is nothing surrounding him but the ground beneath him and the sea above him. An itch traces his shoulder, and he wants to turn around. The itch grows. It festers and suddenly he doesn't remember how to move, how to breathe, how to live.

He blinks.

The scene changes in the span of an eternity condensed in a drop of water. There is a field of spider lilies before him. Motoya smiles and leans forward to pick one up, only for the tendrils wrap themselves around his fingers and snake up his arm. He yelps and retracts his arm but it's too late; the field of red bleeds and suddenly he is drowning in emptiness. 

"I told you she wasn't going to listen."

Motoya reaches towards the voice, familiar yet distant, tears prickling his eyes. He doesn't have to think about his answer. "I had to try anyway!"

He blinks.

The burn of bright fluorescent lights stings, and it takes a moment to collect himself; the adrenaline that had him on edge fades away in an instant and he doesn’t remember where he had been. Looking around, it takes him a second to realize he's in the convenience store near his house. Humming contently, he browses the endless shelves of chips and candy. Each label reads gibberish and the colours of each packet shift like waves in a psychedelic state.

He chooses a dark red chip package. The imprinted chips sparkle gold, and he’s reminded of tired eyes and a steady opponent.

Satisfied with his decision, he walks towards the cash register to find his mother behind the counter. “That bird died,” she says while scanning the item. “I told you it wasn’t worth saving.”

Something lodges itself in his throat. “He,” Motoya corrects, speaking around the pain. “Tora-sama isn’t an ‘it’.”

She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “How will you be paying?”

Reaching for his wallet, Motoya finds his jeans pocketless. “Uh…I don’t have anything.”

Her smile grows in the same likelihood weeds spread. “You have a soul, don’t you?”

The ground beneath him crumbles. He looks at the chips, and then back to his mother. “It’s not worth it,” he says, gripping the edge of the counter.

“Oh, sweetie…” She cups his cheek and leans forward to press a kiss to his forehead. “It’s just a mother’s love.”

The floor gives away and he falls forever. A faint imprint of her touch lingers on his skin as he plunges to the bottom of the void.

He blinks.

Volleyball practice is the same. Kiyoomi diligently stretches while waiting for Motoya, Iizuna speaks with the coach, and all his teammates are preparing for the day. All is well.

Motoya walks towards Kiyoomi. “Missed me?” he asks, starting his own stretches. Kiyoomi stares at him.

“You’re not real.” It’s not a question.

He squints. “Is any of this real?”

Kiyoomi stands, everyone inside mirroring him. He shrugs and then grins, the edges too stretched to be human. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Is this the part where I’m eaten by aliens?”

He laughs and shakes his head. The sound is foreign on his cousin’s tongue. “No, of course not.” His eyes cry red. “Though this _is_ the part where you start screaming.”

The monsters pounce and Motoya follows his script. It’d be rude to deviate, anyways.

There is no pain. Nothing is inflicted upon him, but he feels the wrath of hell burn away at his flesh, flames licking his skin. There is no saviour, nor is there a devil. All that exists is Motoya and his own reality.

He blinks. He finds himself nowhere.

A blank canvas. Rueful words etched into nothing. Beginnings born from the end of time. Rivers running blood through his mind. There is nothing. There is everything. In one breath, he befriends the universe and holds its secrets. In the same exhale, he loses it all.

Patterns flit through what should be a sky. A line of ants, carrying food and necessities, travel to their home from a hard day of work. They will get up in the morning and do everything all over again. He watches the work from below and he understands.

Komori Motoya knows nothing but the understanding of satisfaction.

“I told you she wasn’t going to listen.”

Motoya turns to find his cousin crying, tears and dirt streaking his face. He doesn’t look a day over eight. He smiles, his chest aching. “I had to try anyway.”

“What do we do now? We can’t leave now. It’s too late.” Kiyoomi starts to cry harder as he grips the bottom of his shirt, playing with the fabric. “This can’t be the end.”

He walks towards him and kneels, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry,” Motoya says with a cheeky wink. “We’ll just keep Tora-sama at my place. He’ll be our little secret.”

Kiyoomi sniffles. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

“You better wake up then. We wouldn’t want to keep him hungry.”

Something like glass shatters inside him. “Ki-chan-”

A voice, someone calling his name, penetrates the illusion and he springs off his bed as if he had been saved from drowning. Light filters through a staggered curtain and it takes him a moment to collect himself. With an erratic heartbeat and clammy hands, he looks around to remember he’s at a training camp. Sighing, he notices a pair of legs in front of him and finds Kiyoomi standing before him.

“You’re crying.”

Motoya touches his cheek to find it tear-streaked. “Huh. I guess I am.” Something tickles his memory and the sudden urge to cry washes over him. “Tora-sama died.”

Kiyoomi narrows his eyes, his gaze calculating yet gentle. “That happened years ago. Why are you thinking about this now?”

He tries to recall his dream, but it slips past him like sand through an hourglass. All that’s left is the feeling of forgetting something important and the touch of someone important.

“It’s important to remember those we’ve lost, I think. Even if he was just a bird.” In his head, he’s reminded of his mother’s irritation. “No, he wasn’t ‘just a bird’. He was _our_ bird.”

Different emotions cross Kiyoomi’s face. Confusion, nostalgia, regret. He offers a hand. “Breakfast is almost ready. We should leave now.”

He accepts the olive branch and picks himself up. Outside, the world lives on. “Alright then. Let’s go.”

They leave the room together and Motoya can’t shake off the feeling that he’s forgetting something important. He shrugs off the feeling and focuses on his present; there’s nothing else to do past that.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/curious_shipper) || [cc](https://t.co/jJ5BShvN5l?amp=1)
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Stay hydrated, stay socially distanced, stay safe ♥♥♥


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